A Compass

Genesis 2:22-23

I wonder what it must have been like for Adam and Eve to experience the level of vulnerability that they did. Up until about three weeks ago I was scarred "shitless" about being vulnerable with anyone. It just didnt feel like it was natural to me, and in a sense it isnt anymore. Adam and Eve experienced something for part of their lives that we can only look forward to in heaven. In this day of being able to change your physical appearance with the slice of a knife or find a spiritual view that fits you best for that situation through church shopping, there isnt a high demand for physical or even spiritual vulnerability. But your emotions, your personality, and who you are to your friends is what is truly worth its weight in gold. Think about Adam and Eve. Naked, in perfect union with God, and really both made directly from the hand of the same creator and from the same essence. Dust. But each had a different role in God's plan. They were there for each other for emotional encouragement. Yes, we can get emotional encouragement from our Father in Heaven and we can feel close to others within a spiritual context of brothers and sisters in Christ, but the emotional vulnerability is what Adam longed for and what God provided for Him. I mean, it must have taken Adam a long time to realize it and thats why God didnt create Eve yet. Adam needed to desire for himself to be that friend, to have that friend, and to serve as a friend to literally his other half. Eve really was part of this transformation as well. Adam's physical body (not in a sexual way) longed for a playful, desirable, friend to live life together and react in a human way (still perfect at this point) to the emotions of being limited by this plain and yet having the desire to worship God "limitlessly" with all that was created here for us. Eve was always there with Adam, albeit as his rib, but she was created from that desire, for that desire of emotional intimacy with God and with Adam.
Within the context of emotions, it is important to realize that it is to be three part balance between the emotional, spiritual, and physical realms that we live in. It is irrelevant whose fault it was that man fell, whether it was the man or the woman, snake or predestined for God's glory to be shone. The point is that it happened. Bad things happen when we dont test our emotional forwardness (of relational commitments) against the spiritual guidance that we have received or are receiving from God. In the same way, if our heart says, "Go put your physical self in unnecessary danger when the simple act of being physically available is more important than the end result of the danger" (see the movie "My Girl" 2001). Dont get me wrong with that last part, I believe that no amount of danger is too much to save the woman you love, but at the same time, to accomplish the winning of her heart should not include taking unnecessary risks that would neither encourage her nor admonish Christ. Very seldom as a man do I feel like I take too many emotional risks, and for certain it is the other way around. There are many different guides that a man can use when making a decision or when seeking guidance, and let it be known that this is simply one way of looking at a situation and does not apply in all cases, nor even in most. But a man's heart sometimes is not his lone compass. "Let your heart be your guide" is often thought of as a fairy tale theme which is often true because as men we are so ADD or ADHD or whatever when it comes to love, friendships, and our spiritual walk. I myself have so many times been caught saying, "Oh, well this no longer benefits me spiritually so it must be God saying I need something else to fill it." When in reality the quality of the sermon or the worship songs selected may not be the reason why I dont feel close to God. And so the trendyness of todays world and the quick fixes of today often leave me distracted from a history of following Christ daily instead of hoping for mountain top experiences. The same goes for love or even friendships. Cedar Pointe, or camping, or fancy dinners, or even vacations are great experiences and highlights of moments shared and vulnerability, but so often they fade into the background of the history of the relationships (friendship or otherwise) and simply are just chalked up as a shared "great" weekend and nothing more. In between these times different compasses smash against the one that God created in our heart to help guide us all our days. Compasses like career advancement, worldly pleasures (drugs, sex, booze, rock and roll), and even things like busyness and the calamity of the everyday life. These "guides" smash against our compass and demagnetize it. They leave us confused and heading in circles asking, "why arent i growing closer to him or her or God?" And its only when we realize that while everything seems alright on the outside, it is when we look at the fine-tuned heart that God gave each of us that we find our true solution. Each day, we must ask God for a new heart in Him. A new heart with a new compass, or rather the old one. The compass that leads us to the the desire for a relationship with God and a relationship with others. A passion for beauty, for art, for life, and for vulnerability. A strength that comes with knowing that my heart is from God and that my value comes from God. For so many times we can feel that our physical or spiritual destiny can be turned on and off and we dont realize that our emotional fortitude is actually the strongest yet. Our emotional strength comes from a compass that points at the heart of God and it is in God's heart that we find our true calling and our true destiny. That when we follow God's true north, or rather get back on track with His true north, everything that he brings across our path or brings us back to is from Him alone. No burning bushes, no holy light illuminating a direction, just obedience leading to unseen blessings of a life full of Him. For when we give up our own self-esteem and become truly vulnerable with others, then we learn that we have our Father God's-esteem.


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