Homeless Identity

Romans 5:12-21

1 Corinthians 15:12-34

So my movers came and packed up all of my worldly possessions yesterday. So I am in a very real sense homeless. I have sent in my forwarding mail address card such that as far as the governing body over my well being is concerned....I no longer reside in E. Lansing. So now I am enroute, or as of tomorrow at 11am....possibly later, to my new apartment which is empty but in a real sense full.

Last night I completely realized that I have nothing and currently own nothing that is more than my laptop (which is now 4+ years old) and the clothes on my back (plus 6ish other "outfits" that will have to suffice in the mean time). I have no fear about where my next meal is to come from...for I have more than enough in front of me. I have no struggle as to fresh water, or medical care, or even friends and family....for I also have all this in abundance. It is so weird to think that just a week ago I was concerned about filling up my new apartment with just the right items, or just the right stuff....ignoring the blaring-ly obvious signals and signs right in front of me. The love and safety; the rest and peace; the joy and assurance I have in Christ's death and resurrection is more than enough. My identity is not a job, its not a position, or a qualification. My identity isnt even my accomplishments, or the companion beside me (if and when God allows for a Christ-defining relationship). I got so distracted from the syntax of my life to say that as long as Christ was in the center of my life, relationships, or jobs then it didnt matter how big the part was. Christ needs to DEFINE who I am and what i put into my life and my jobs. Instead of seeing a relationship that has Christ as the glue, have the relationship be the splitting image of Christ. Not to put it as the center of the time together but to have it as the time together. To pray without ceasing doesnt mean to pray at the beginning, middle, and end of the day....it means to NEVER STOP PRAYING. To have Christ only be in my job when I am facing an ethical dilemma would be to exclude Him from so much of who I am and what I am trying to accomplish for Him. If I truly follow Colossians 3:23 then I should be heavenly minded throughout my day and in all work that I accomplish for Him who gives me strength. I should be looking at my places of influence, my positions, my areas of my life where I can truly make a difference, and use them to be Christ in those ways. I have nothing to fear for God will vindicate me in this world and be with me always, even if my actions in the world truly lead me homeless or even to the next.

Back in my sophomore and junior years of high school I was starting to learn about what did it mean to be defined by who God was in my life. I was beginning to learn from an Erwin McManus book called "Uprising" where it talks about how every man is on a journey to discover the passion that God has put in each of our hearts. Its not about worldly accomplishments but it is about getting to know the heart of the Father and the heart that He has uniquely placed in each of us. It is about trusting in Him to make all the pieces work together and teaching us the opportunities that lie ahead are meant to be taken grasp of with God's help. I forgot all the lessons that I learned from that book over the past 6-7 years and I shouldn't have. The fact that my identity was so backwards and away from God, forced me to sacrifice so many God-given opportunities and to squander many of my blessings. God calls me and each of us to not be defined as a Christian, which has come to mean so many things today from attending on Easter and Christmas to punching your ticket every Sunday before going to the bar to watch a sports game. Our day of rest has turned into a day or even a week of debauchery. I am as guilty as everyone else if not more. I have sinned in every way imaginable on Sundays as well as every other day of the week. My defining characteristics in God were of trying my best and not caring if it didnt work out in the end. My joy did not come from Him alone but by whatever the world told me I should be encouraged by. My old Adam had crawled its way back into my life such that ethics, morals, and priorities didnt match up with what my heart's true desire was. My life seemed so empty and off-kilter because it was. My balancing act was more like a deadly tight-rope performance than an actual rest in my Father's arms. But I have fallen and I have been caught by God. It took pain, it took humility, and it took a resetting of my heart's priorities...but now I can know that I literally have nothing now but God. I am alone with Him (especially since I just found out I wont have my move items till the 12th day of my 2-12 day moving spread). My joy is joy from Him. My love is flowing from His side. And my peace is that of His Spirit engulfing me and penetrating the weakest parts of who I am to expose them to the solidifying fire of the Lord's trials such that they may be refined and hardened in love through Grace.

It excites me to see where God is leading me next, or what friends I might meet along the way, or who God might strengthen my friendships with. I recently heard the quote that "Love is friendship on fire" which apparently is an older english quote from a while back but if that is true, then the only way for that fire to ignite (not even necessarily within a dating or marriage relationship) is for God to set it that way. For the fire that purifies and consumes everything is only from God. The fire that burns away the bad, useless items to leave only that which shimmers in God's eyes is what matters. And it is exciting to see what the next stage in my life will be, and what next God will set on fire now that He has started with my heart.

A quote from C.S. Lewis:
"Now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

Another quote inspired by God:
Luke 12:13-53